unExpectedly Successful

Why This Episode on Podcasting Voices Unleashed Will Change Your Life

• Griselda Martinez • Season 2 • Episode 20

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Ever stood at a crossroads, feeling an inner tug to embrace the unfamiliar despite the odds? What if that decision could be the gateway to discovering your authentic self and sparking a personal transformation? Journey with us as we unravel the power of such choices with two extraordinary podcasters, Marion Swingler and Ruth Abigail Gardner. From Marion's having her son as her debut guest to Ruth's draw to have the tough conversations most of us would run from...  Their tales of authenticity, faith, and relentless diving into the transformative world of podcasting. Get ready to unpack their creative processes, consistency tricks, and the criticality of audience accountability.

✨ Engage & Connect:

Ruth Abigail Gardner, The UnlearnT Podcast

Marion Swingler, Confident You Podcast


RECOMMENDED readings and programs:

Dr. Dharius Daniels', https://dhariusdaniels.com/

📖✅  Getting out of your comfort zone - The Year of Yes, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0163E1X48/ref=nosim?tag=unexpectedl0e-20

🧠 On Mindset - Soundtracks: the surprising solution to overthinking, https://www.amazon.com/dp/1540900800/ref=nosim?tag=unexpectedl0e-20

💬 On Communication - The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication: Apply Them and Make the Most of Your Message, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZBD1HZ4/ref=nosim?tag=unexpectedl0e-20

📈 On Scaling Your Business through Synergies - Who Not How, https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401962327/ref=nosim?tag=unexpectedl0e-20

🎧 Tune into our show, unExpectedly Successful, on your favorite platforms:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/66x3kimKtCA4dSHE51IOEj?si=486ebbd41f284f3d

🍏 Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/un-expectedly-successful-the-podcast/id1691434992

💌 GET IN TOUCH WITH ME

🌍 My websites - herpathtopurposeandprofit.com and ascendostrategies.com
📧 Partner With Me - griselda@ascendostrategies.com
1️⃣ Her Path to Purpose and Profit:
Business coaching for aspiring women entrepreneurs to launch their venture.
Website: https://herpathtopurposeandprofit.com/

Who I AM: 
I am Dr. Griselda Martinez, your transformational business coach, podcaster, public speaker, and author, passionate about fulfilling my purpose and helping aspiring women entrepreneurs find theirs.

Before being here,  "I had made it" in my career. Yet, I remembered that the corner office or the big salary was not the end goal. 

Instead, I now get to work with other women like me to find their purpose and use their businesses as a mechanism for its deployment. As a result, businesses are founded and rooted in purpose and passion that contribute to their community.
Subscribe now and join the un-Expectedly Successful tribe!

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Speaker 1:

You need to find someone, tell them what you're gonna do and make sure that person will ask you if you did it. That's if you, you will likely not do it. If you're the only one that knows you're gonna do it, you it you'll give you some way too many excuses. Tell somebody that you trust that you're gonna do it, and then they Need to ask you if you did it and then don't regret.

Speaker 2:

Don't look back and say I should have did this, then I should have, could have, would have let go of all three of them. I broke up with them three fools a long time ago. No shit, I know. Coulda, no, what up. What am I doing right now? Because now is the time, always think now is the time.

Speaker 3:

Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of unexpectedly successful the show, and today is episode number 20, and this is a very special episode for a few reasons. The first one is I am closing Season number two. The second one is I have two of my favorite people on earth and definitely two of my favorite podcasters, and the action, the call to action that I want my audience to have today is If we did it in 2023, I want you all to do it in 2024, and with that I'm gonna go dive deep into the conversation with these two amazing, beautiful women Mary on swing Blair, host and producer of confident you podcast, and Ruth of the Gayle Gardner Host, producer, founder of the unlearn podcast. How are you both doing, ladies?

Speaker 1:

Excellent. What's up, what's up, what's up.

Speaker 3:

And just some context here for my audience, these two women. I Don't think I would be here today, right this moment, talking to you through unexpectedly successful the show, it hadn't been for these two women. So I'll leave it at that and we'll unpack it in our conversation. So the first question I have for these two ladies is what does it mean to be Mary on for Mary on and Ruth of the guy for Ruth, a big guy.

Speaker 1:

So what does it mean to be me Right now? It means Really living into who I am authentically, and not just living into it, but also like discovering who she is authentically and then putting that out into the world Intentionally, which is not something I've always done. I feel like I've always been true to myself, but I haven't always been intentional about Putting it out there. So you know, the podcast is definitely one way of bringing it out. Yes, it's definitely one way of doing that. But other ways to taking more risks, being less concerned about what people think, you know being just being myself and letting that bring what it brings awesome, beautiful answer.

Speaker 3:

What about you, mary on?

Speaker 2:

where I am is much like Ruth I am. I Feel like I am finding me. I'm finding the newer this year, this time Me. I have been a daughter, I have been a mom and Now I'm being an empty nester. I'm finding me. I'm finding what I like, because I've always had that Compromising relationship where I it With kids, with having kids and raising kids, you kind of as a mom that's there and A single mom that's trying to make sure everything is covered.

Speaker 2:

There's a lot of sacrificing, so there is a lot of time that I actually did not know. After they left and I was an empty nester, I said wait, what do I like? Not what do I like in reference to what my children like, so that the other Like, so that it be affordably done and share it to where they would eat and I would eat or they would enjoy, whatever the situation or event was, and so would I became a thing of just me. So here I find myself today Doing things I actually never saw myself doing. I never saw myself. I saw myself in front of people never in this way. So everything is new and unique. So I'm discovering, the same way Ruth is saying I'm discovering me and I am.

Speaker 3:

That's so beautiful and, for my audience, a little bit of history of how Mary on, ruth of Begail and I are in this room with you all. Together, we went through intense training as coaches and it was a transformational experience and I will let my guest speak to that. But I believe that transformation we're still seeing the ripple effects of that. So, ruth of Begail and Mary on, what do you think about that? We went through this coaching program in 2022. What do you think about the ripple effects of that in this moment, right now?

Speaker 2:

Wow, the ripple effects of that. I think that each of us intentionally signed up for the class, maybe for different reasons. What I signed up for, I think it was rock the world with words. I believe that's where we initially met and in signing up with that I knew that I was on a quest to have better communication, to be able to relay a message better. So that was the gist of why I was there. But then to end up in another program. Then I found myself on a quest to be able to do this, to get more knowledge. But this was, I thought was for the original business Inheritance of Praise Global Production. But it turned into something much more I never intended. So I did not start this with the intent of going through a coaching class. Certainly did not start this to be where I am today.

Speaker 1:

Ruth, yeah, I the that coaching experience, or the, the, the, the class. I think the thing that it did for me was the best thing it did for me was was get connect me to a community of people who were ready to step out and do something different, and also it helped me to kill some limiting beliefs, and I think that was a lot of what. A lot of what we talked about, like the first several weeks, was you have to kill some limiting beliefs, right, in order to step into into things that most people around you aren't going to be doing and that most people around you don't necessarily even think you can do, because you only see other people doing it and those people are typically far away and you don't have access to them and they just seem so distant and different. But they're not and you have to, you have to tell your, you have to, you have to really work that out, and so I think that was the biggest thing and it's the reason.

Speaker 1:

You know, I don't have a kind of formal coaching business. When I came out of it, I kind of thought, oh, maybe I could do this, and I did with the devil, but what I came out with was being able to communicate with people in a way that would be encouraging and impactful. It turned into a podcast, which is not what I thought. I never would have thought I would have done that, but the mere fact that my mind was open to doing something different, anything different, like I was willing to do it, and so I was willing to step out and do it.

Speaker 1:

So I think you know, and also just as a, I see myself as a coach. I don't have to coach a business, but I'm definitely that and I see that in my day to day, in the work I do every day. And the best thing it helped me to do, just skill wise, is ask great questions, which you have to be able to do on a podcast. But like you got to, but the questions and the curiosity it takes to be interested in something outside of yourself. Sometimes you got to have, you got to be trained into that, because we don't naturally care about things that deeply outside of ourselves. Like it's hard to do that, especially now. So I think it just it just opens you up to being a, to being a more well rounded, open individual that can actually do something in the world.

Speaker 3:

Wow, what are your reactions to that, mary?

Speaker 2:

on my goodness. She said questions and curiosity. That is definitely what it yielded. It also, as she said, yielded a shift in my thinking, in my thinking about the value that I bring in my thinking about. You said the questions and then the curiosity. Not thinking of it in a light of honestly. This is how I thought I was like you asking all those questions, you're being nosy but I thought of it in a negative light. I did not think of it Now that I think of my questions as revealing things for others to learn from and for people to actually learn from themselves. There have been so many times that I have been speaking and I can literally say I said it, but it was like I was sitting in the room with everyone else and I learned it. Wow, the revelation coming through my mouth. It was also a revelation for my mind.

Speaker 3:

How powerful, like in the moment, for you and for others. Yes, wow. So for my audience, let me ask my guests, amazing people, you've heard that this is, this is a project for their passion. This is part of their purpose and this is part of their quest. Right that they? They're in, but tell us a little bit about what you do on a full time basis in your day to day, and then we dig in a little deeper into the actual podcast.

Speaker 1:

So so I am the found co-founder for an executive director for an organization called Angel Street. It's based in Memphis, tennessee, and what we do is we build girls as creative leaders through music and mentoring that essentially, for the most part, looks like performance through singing, and we do that all around the city and the region. And I get to, I get to lead a team into really developing young women and using music to do that, and that that's so. That's my, that's my day to day. It's a lot of fun. You know, I'm pretty sure I'm, I'm, I'm never going to really fully grow up, because I work with teenagers and I'm totally okay with it. You know I'm saying like I have no problem with that. So that is that's kind of where I'm at and I really do love it. I've been working with with young people for 13 years and leading an organization is really hard. It is not an easy feat, but it is a challenge that I am grateful to have and, yeah, so that's that, that's what I do.

Speaker 3:

Thank you, ruth Abigail, and Ruth Abigail says that she loves to hang out with young people, so therefore she's with us this afternoon.

Speaker 1:

That's exactly right. That's me. That's why. That's why I hang with y'all man Good for us Mary on.

Speaker 3:

So, mary on, tell us you're. You're an amazing, talented individual. Tell us what you do on a day to day, weekends and more.

Speaker 2:

Day to day, weekends and more so. I do still have a nine to five while I still run inheritance appraise, global productions, where we we've helped people produce albums, we've done voice lessons, sessions and that's usually where then then follows the album and release of independent music we have done. We're in the process of producing some other podcast we have. That's just inheritance appraise. So I got my nine to five, got inheritance appraise. I have confident you podcast where I go through. It's amazing you're running a business and now with social media, social media itself is another whole business Business. So I also I also do that also have another podcast after the after party. So that's usually the conversation after the episode, because I just found myself having a whole nother conversation and I thought that it brought still brought great value, so started recording those and those are also out there.

Speaker 2:

I sing at a few churches. I I do a lot. I do, I am, my kids are going see all those things you had us doing. Now you're doing that and it's amazing because all of the things that I would make sure that they got to, now I have that schedule for myself.

Speaker 3:

Yes, yes, there you go, there you go, finding yourself in this fun moment in life. So, okay, so I'm going to tell my audience confident you podcast started March 1st of 2023. And, after parties, started about a couple of months ago. So now there's a network behind Mary on and the unlearned podcast started on December 13 of 2022, going on to years, and now Ruth of the gate has published 45 episodes. So, ladies, what came to your mind that said let's create a podcast, and that's crazy. Right. What is the?

Speaker 1:

journey there. I'm pretty sure I bumped my head and I don't know, I don't know and I just something I don't know like. So I was actually. It's funny I was in the middle of a summer program. It had been playing in the back of my head. I love podcasts. I don't. I almost listen to them exclusively in the car now, like I don't listen to music anymore. For the most part I listen to podcasts, and that's been for a while.

Speaker 1:

And it was during our summer program and there was a group that was speaking to kids and they since they, one of them said something that triggered it in my mind. You know, it's hard to even pinpoint what they said because I don't even remember what that was, but I remember when they heard, when I, when they said it, I felt this thing that said do it now Okay. And so I literally went home that day and I remember now I'm remembering. That's funny. I remember in it they mentioned the word, they mentioned the word unlearned and I said okay. So I went home and I just started thinking. I was in my kitchen and I was like what are some? What do I want to do? And this idea of just like you know I love. I think people should live free and the reality is a lot of the reason we don't is because we have held onto things that are no longer serving us well and we have to be willing to unlearn it right. And so I was just kind of processing through all of that in the kitchen and something, and it was like the unlearned podcast and I literally in that moment I looked it up, I made sure what else out there, I bought the domain and I said, okay, I don't know, I knew enough to know by the domain because I was like I need the website. But after that I was like, okay, now what? And I just started looking up how do you do a podcast? And I, so you know, then from there I just I kind of just started brainstorming. You know different guests and different topics and all of this stuff and people that I knew that were really good at on the microphone, and I called them up, I said you want to be on a podcast? Cool. So it was literally that. And then after that, I don't know, I just you just kind of figure it out as you go. It has been a figure it out as I go experience, which has been a lot of fun.

Speaker 1:

For me, it's the first thing that I've done, that an idea has generated essentially in my mind by itself, like without anybody else's input, and then I executed on an original thought. For me, right Now, even the organization I get to lead was a group effort. Right, it was three of us were all co-founders. This is different, and this was different for me. It's like this was something that came from my mind and I executed on it and I didn't stop. Right, I've had a lot of things. I started and stopped, and so I didn't stop, and so that that was, and I felt compelled to keep going. It's been a journey. I don't know, I don't know. I still don't know what I'm doing. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. You know, you just figure it out. You just one episode at a time, man, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 3:

One episode at a time. I love that, Maryon. What about you Tell us how this crazy idea came to be?

Speaker 2:

How this crazy idea came to be. Listen, we started this journey Rock the Worlds. From Rock the Worlds, we joined a coaching class, that master class taught by Darius Daniels, and that's who planted the seed. He also went through all the different avenues that you could actually take, not just coaching or under the umbrella of coaching, and this was one of them. So that's where the seed was planted. The seed was actually and it was nourished.

Speaker 2:

I took other classes and would hear other people saying it, but where the actual broke ground and started to grow was when I joined the morning meetup with David Shands. He said and this was happened simultaneously as my son who I'm in business, when we own inheritance of praise global productions together, we started it together and we earn it together. We run it together. But he started a journey of his own business. And then he was like okay, ma, I'm ready to launch. I'm ready to launch and I go to class because this morning meetup is every morning.

Speaker 2:

Every morning you start your day getting your mind ready to focus on the things that you are purposed to do in this world. That's how I look at that call. That's how urgent it is for me to be there. That's how I treat everything, that I learn and apply it. And David literally said okay, y'all need to go live, y'all need to do this today, today, this week, this week. That's the deadline this week. There are so many people here. You're here, you're not doing it. Let's just do it. Don't be afraid Already. Know that it's not going to be your best Already. Know that when you can clear what. I found that and it was the same thing Darius Daniels has said it was the same thing when you stop focusing on perfection and just focus on doing, guess what, you get it done. You get it done. It may get done ugly, and then you can fix it up, but it's easier to actually step out and do it and then make it in the process, make it better, but celebrate yourself all along the way.

Speaker 2:

So my son was starting his business. I got this call to action at the end of. I said wait. I said, son, you're going to be my first guest on my podcast. My son said wait, what? What, mommy? What podcast? I said what I'm wanting and then I said okay, hold on, I'm going to call you right back.

Speaker 2:

So I called somebody who I knew because he produces my music. I said you had a podcast you can show me. Sure, mary. And he showed me the plans. We picked my plan. He showed me how. Then I called my son back Okay, now put this platform. We're going on this platform, we're going to start right here. And we started and then, as the platform is up and he's got us in and it's officially ours, I'm in there moving and doing things, and my son is fading out of the screen. And then when I see that I'm the only one sitting there, I go may well, and he's like Ma, you're doing it, you're already, you don't need, you're doing everything. You haven't asked me anything. And that's when I then I say you're my first guest. And he's like Ma, you don't have a website, so you bought your little thing, who cares?

Speaker 2:

He said you don't have a website, you don't have this, you don't have. I said Shemizo, shemizo, listen, we're going to start this Right now and I just dove in. I dove in and did that first episode and my mission was to help my son who was starting his business. I did not even realize I was doing it.

Speaker 3:

So wait, your first episode. The real reason for that and your son being it was for you to coach him through that session to get him going.

Speaker 2:

Was to promote his business, was to get his business out. That was my pure goal. And now I can accept that I work best helping people. I understand that it's not that difficult for me to work out. I don't say, man, how do I do, how do I, I can't, I can't. I don't say that when I know somebody else's purpose, somebody else's, somebody else's need or what they need is in me. So I don't. So that's why I started it. So we're on there. He doesn't know, we have surprise guests, surprise your daddy, surprise your best friend, surprise someone you helped do exactly what your business is for. Someone you helped get to college, just as your business is set up to do. Someone you helped is there. But then someone is there that has gone through the school of Marion and my daughter opened her. She says pro nami. I said yes, we doing this every Thursday. I said right.

Speaker 2:

My God, I remember that moment, marion, my daughter said so, I am doing this because of the way that I have raised my children. And my daughter said hey, you, so you're not just doing this one episode. And she didn't do that in private because she knows her mother.

Speaker 3:

She did it on YouTube.

Speaker 2:

She did it on the episode and so she knows me. I had to come back that next Thursday. So I've been back every Thursday since. Whoa, what a cool story. I know I'm gonna raise no pump, no, cause I I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. A challenge, you challenge me, and then you got a problem, a challenge, so that she knows me. She's been through school, she knows and she said watch me, get my mom. And I literally said I said we doing that right now, I can't hear you, I can't hear you. I just said watch the episode.

Speaker 2:

And the Holy Spirit, literally I went to sleep. I felt so much peace and joy for helping my son. I woke up and the Holy Spirit was sitting there, going. So what are we doing? Huh, so what are we doing? God is sitting there going. What are we doing? Like you just did it. If you put one foot forward, I hope you walked the rest of the way and I've been walking the rest of the way. Literally. Some days people call and go yeah, I can't do it, go on. And all right, okay, all right, lord, what we? In my next conversation, somebody go oh yeah, I'm doing that. Hey, you wanna be on the part? Great, here's the leak. Send me your this, send me your that, and then there we are and Darius Daniels coaching class. Like Ruth said, those questions they helped me to. Really, that class, that coaching class, taught me not just to ask questions but to listen.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Listen to what's being said and what's not being said.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and that's vital and that's how I know I am where I am. I literally would have a guest and not know that it was Veterans Day and they were a veteran until an hour before the show aired and someone called, texted me and said yo, how bomb is this? You really doing this Cause you got a veteran on and it's Veterans Day. I said who did what I did? That that's all God. And then it will be the next thing, another holiday or some something, and my content would be Relevant to what was going on in the moment and that, for me, just more confirmation that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. What was it? What did I think I was supposed to be doing? Singing. I Was using my voice, but I didn't think it was going to be used this way. So it was still using my voice, but I did not see this coming because both of my guests are singers.

Speaker 3:

I forgot to say that they're like you're not singer, you're a pianist. You're a pianist, okay. So this, this, this women are talented musicians. I mean, they know their notes? I don't.

Speaker 2:

Know.

Speaker 1:

That'd be kind of fun.

Speaker 3:

Okay, so I I mean for for my podcast show. It's one of the the most fulfilling things I am currently doing. What is like one of your favorite moments in this journey? Because I know it's been filled with a Bunch of them, like top one that you can think of? So many Mary on pick one.

Speaker 2:

So many okay too, I used to do, because I just gave you my top moment will never with your son.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and then to your daughter told have my daughter there and then to have their dad there. I know people were like way, like she bought her kids dad. Yes, you should be a family, no matter what your family. Yes, his father was there. Yes, their dad was there. I know it's my first episode, but my first episode was dedicated to my son. His father should be there. So I, I, I would say my daughter put me on blast. Yeah, that's my top one with everyone on the screen my daughter putting me on blast. My second one you a minute to think about Ruth. You, you, you go.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I would probably say in the keeping with the family theme it was. It was having a conversation with my brother, so we did a, we did a, a, a Series called unlearning religion, and so my brother is, he would. He would call himself a former Christian. He would not identify as Christian right now I do, and so we, we had a conversation about unlearning religion and so I got to hear some things I had heard, but some things actually were new for me. Um, and I think it was probably To date, it is my been my favorite conversation because you know you, you could talk to your siblings. You can't talk to everybody like you know, like the people you grew up with and so we were able to really talk and I and he pushed me and I pushed him, um, and it was really fun. I know y'all listen to it, y'all gave y'all y'all. You know I can't tell you how many people have, like man, and I think the cool thing about what I heard from that is there were a lot of people that that shared with me that they struggle With having conversations with family members who don't believe what they believe, and so for them it was an example of how to do it well and for for us, it's it was just us doing what we normally do.

Speaker 1:

I mean, my brother and I have a great relationship and we literally do that for hours on the phone. We go back and forth, we talk about deep stuff. So what was cool about it? Because I don't think twice about it sometimes it was cool to see, oh, man, this, I could see how this would be hard, but, but, but again, to me it was one of the most powerful Examples of, of, of unlearning some things like it is not impossible to have a healthy conversation with somebody that you don't agree with, um, and that you have differences and people you love and, um, you.

Speaker 1:

There are things that I unlearned about religion through him and I can do that and and vice versa, right, um, even though we don't agree. And I think that's a great example, um, for me, of of an episode that might man that I, I would relisten to that one. I don't like listening to myself. You know I'm saying like I do it because I have to, but I don't love it. But I would relisten to that one, uh, because it's just, it's just fun, like it's interesting, it's a little edgy, you know it was cool, so yeah, you know and for my audience, if you are into complicated conversations.

Speaker 1:

Come on, look, I love it because you said and I've said this to people, I love what you said like all the topics that other people avoid, you like run after and absolutely, that's, that's ruther bg a totally I want to give them to me. What do you want I want on politics now we did religion. I'm come on like bring yes bring him.

Speaker 3:

So the two topics that people avoid religion and politics, ruth and bg a has taken the core. I was her serious to the podcast, so, yeah, totally. And by the way, this that's uh brother. He doesn't know how to follow rules, so ruther bg a had to keep bringing him in. We, we are in my podcast, dude.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, man, he tries to take off asking me questions. Talk about no, but don't you believe this or don't you know?

Speaker 3:

sit down, no my pop is a great episode, I totally agree. Uh, but yeah, I'm thank for sharing that moment with the bg. A Marion, do you think of another one?

Speaker 2:

Think of another one. Each one has brought something special, so I'm going to go with something difficult. Someone brought up a topic that was challenging For me to accept, their view on them not knowing I had gone through it. Um, I had gone through it. Um, my family had gone through it, and just the way that they were speaking on it, um, I stopped talking about the subject. I learned something about myself. I just let it go and skip and act like nothing was said and went on. Do you know, the holy spirit sat down inside of me and said what are we doing? I was like what are we doing? Literally, what are you doing? You are a host of a podcast show. You cannot avoid hard, difficult conversations because they're uncomfortable for you.

Speaker 3:

Wow. So tell us what the topic was. No, then you'll know who it was. Hey, remember, ladies, this is the wrong genuine stories of women. It is.

Speaker 2:

It is. It was, it was very touchy, it was and I literally you'll see if you watch the episode, you'll see it and you'll see me Just go away from the conversation. The holy spirit the point of what I'm saying is the holy spirit had a conversation with me and then I circled back around to the topic and had the conversation, and normally I don't voice my views. It was the first time on my show that I was polar opposite Of what the person was saying and I could not allow it to be said and feel as though, or have it Seem as though, I was totally on board with what was being said Hmm, hmm, and you were courageous enough to come back to it.

Speaker 2:

I had to go back to it and ask questions. I couldn't just Voice my opinion and go, you're wrong, because that's not what it's about. I literally had to craft questions so that I could get them to express more like, no, it's not that simple, there's more. You have to do more. You can't just do that, it's not that simple, to express more for the safety of my audience. And then I gave a snippet of what I wanted to say, because my questions I was able to craft them in the way to yield A better response than that initial one.

Speaker 2:

Well, I would say just that that, coming against that in that moment, and why I say coming against that, I'm not talking about the person, the topic or the question, it was me. I was a coming against how I avoid different conversations, difficult conversations. That's why I wanted up not really the topic of what was discussed. It was a difficult conversation and that conversation may have just been difficult for me Because it was something that I had been to, was something that impacted my life and family members lives, something that, in fact, it one of my children. So I'm just like, yeah, and I, I literally still holding the podcast, still talking, still going forward and holding a whole separate conversation within me that says Can't do that.

Speaker 1:

Can't do that. Can I say something to that Grisel? This? Because, like, I think, being a like understanding, being a podcast host, one of the things that I've really learned is that you have to it's got to be about your audience, not about you, and so that is a very vulnerable place to be because in those moments, because I felt it, I mean on this, on this series about politics, that's a very easy one for to like you, I mean, you're going to there's a disagreement all across. You know, there's plenty of stuff I disagree with, right, and so I Can't be so concerned about how I feel in the moment that I miss the point that I'm trying to get my audience to go through the process that I'm going through.

Speaker 1:

So if I'm saying I'm like my, the purpose is to unlearn, it's not to defend. The purpose is to unlearn, right. So I have to allow the audience to do what I. So I have to do what the audience is doing, even though I feel like I got something to say too. But it's the discipline of being a host, like, it's not about you, it's not about you, and so I love what you said.

Speaker 1:

You know, mary, and like, but that's hard, that's a really, and you and what's interesting when you get, when you listen I don't know about job when you listen other podcasts, you can, you can tell hosts that make it about them versus making about the audience, and it's hard to listen to somebody who's making it about them all the time. It's not like it's a delicate balance, but it's not easy to do because you do have something to say. You do want to, you know, speak on what you want to speak on, but that's not the purpose, that's not your purpose, right? And you were talking about purpose and like what are we doing this for? You're doing it for people that are listening, right? Um? So I think it's the responsibility. When you put yourself on a microphone, you have a higher responsibility and that's part of it. You've got to got to get out of, get out of your own feelings and your own head and um, and operate With discipline for the sake of other people, right?

Speaker 3:

I love how you say Be disciplined enough as a host, because it is a responsibility and it is we. We set our journeys with a mission and we are mission oriented, and that those, those conversations, may be distractions, right, and that's a very delicate balance to go through. And, and just for my audience, I want to highlight something that I'm just Reflecting upon as I hear this amazing women talk Marianne's podcast the name of it is confident you podcast. Ruth of big Ily's unlearned podcast my podcast is unlearned, I mean unexpectedly successful, and in each one of our own ways, we are walking the walk, which is Amazing. I mean, we're not talking about talking, we are Doing it as we move forward and that is, I mean, just Amazing.

Speaker 3:

And that's why I love these two women, because and and what I said earlier, I don't think I would be here without them as my community and and sharing information, and sharing challenges, and sharing accomplishments, and holding each other accountable, and all these amazing things that that we get to share as we experience this journey of doing something that 12 months ago we didn't know we were going to do. So I just wanted to just Think about that for a moment and just celebrate it, because we are, we are what we, we are doing, what we say we Do, and that's amazing. So shifting gears a little bit. I know this has not been any cpc journey. So what has been the top challenge in this process and how you've gone about it to conquer them, to be here, because you haven't given up and you won't give up. So what has that been for you?

Speaker 1:

um, I would say consistency, uh, and it is Like we mentioned earlier. This is the only thing we do. We do a lot of other things you said earlier also it's not profitable yet, so it's not the motivation for profiting there. You know what I mean. So I'm committing to showing up on a regular basis for others and and it and I can't. It can't be about my schedule, it can't be about you know it's. I have to say I'm going to work, I'm going to release something on the days.

Speaker 1:

I said I'm gonna release it, and that has been one of the biggest challenges and I'll be honest, there are moments, you know, and I actually I caught this hack from another podcast I listened to. He does, and I and I there are times where you just Need to you have a break and you just can't get to it. There might be emergencies that come up, or you're taking a vacation and needed rest and all that. Well, they, they do, they do like throwback Episodes. They'll publish a throwback episode, you know, instead of a new one, and so I was like man, I'm using that heck. There's a season where I just I knew like I don't have this, the bandwidth To, to do these episodes this week, so I'm gonna do a throwback. What I've had to not allow myself to do is fall back on that throwback Because I wasn't, because I wasn't disciplined enough to do it when I'm supposed to do it. You know, and and nowadays, like I just got married a couple months ago, so before Miss Gardner, miss Gardner, miss Gardner.

Speaker 3:

For Miss Miff, now is Gardner.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, proudly so. But I was doing a lot of my recording in my home, and it's very easy to do recording in your home when you're by yourself, but when you have a husband and a son now in the house with you, it's harder. And so now I have to find the space right to do recording and I have to be a little. I can't just do it at midnight on Thursday to get it out on Friday, which is what I used to do. I can't do that anymore now. I got to say, okay, I got a father time while I'm here by myself and they not he goes to pick him up to school at this time. This is what I need to record. Right, I got a career. It's crazy like I have to reprogram my mind To do it. So I'm consistent and I have.

Speaker 1:

I have definitely found myself being like man. I didn't do it. I got to do a throwback this week in it, and it's like I'm running out of throwbacks because I can't be thrown back. Do all, right, you don't work like that. You have to stay consistent for your audience. So, um and so, and what helps me, it holds me accountable to that is, I mean, I guess on a weekly basis I get somebody that says oh man, you have the podcast. I'm like I don't know you, I don't know how you know I have this. But oh shoot, you're listening, I better get this out. You know what I mean. So the consistency fact that has been has been challenging.

Speaker 1:

That's awesome and just for my audience, in addition to the podcast, rutha Begail included a Freedom Friday, and so that's another piece that she needs to Be consistent with, which is another set of recordings right, exactly, I'm releasing twice a week For the most part, like, I have series, and then I have the Freedom Friday, which is my most consistent, which is the one that I, admittedly, throw back the most on. Okay, like, let me be clear. But but I, I'm trying to, like, I gotta get my rhythm. You know, you got to just keep your rhythm and stay consistent and not allow life to Get in the way, like you can't use life as an excuse when you said you're gonna do something. So, and especially when it's not just, it's again, it's not about me, it's about the audience and it's about people who this can read, who I believe this is helping. You know, I'm saying on some level and you, you, you can't, my life can't interfere with other people's help that it don't work like that. So so yeah, honesty.

Speaker 3:

Here are a what's up with you, marion.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I would say consistency was definitely the goal for the first year of doing this podcast Consistency don't miss, don't miss, don't miss, figure it out, don't miss. This can't, this can't fail, it has to work, this has to work or it has to work. So consistency was the thing. But I will agree and I agree with that, and I, an addition to that, will say hmm, the most challenging thing is what she was saying about time, having that time, making that time, knowing that it's not for you, it's not for your benefit, it's not, you know, not in the way that most people think something is done for you.

Speaker 2:

I, I Find myself doing things at odd times of the day. If I find moments, I already have a list written of things that need to be done so that I Optimize those open gaps and moments besides the time that I already have scheduled. So I'll have something scheduled with somebody, a meeting they cancel. Cool, let me go ahead, pull out my list and start working on something from this list so I can say being intentional Was Something that I had to realize I had to do Was easy as a mom to do for my kids easy, easy. What the best for them? You're, you're trying to groom them to be successful adults, independent, so that I see for myself, it was wrapping my mind around. Now you want this for yourself, now you want this for you and it's to help other people. Okay, I want this for me. I want this for me.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I would love to go. I Retired and this is it I would love of you know. So, you, you, so I am reaping benefit, but my focus what I keep everything on. I find that it's easier for me not to keep my focus on Me because I don't want to get caught up in. I'm tired, I'm this that I focus more on. Oh, this person, I want their episode to be amazing, so I want to put in the time that I need to to do the research, so that I am in the Conversation and I'm able to formulate questions. That is really talk, topic, relevant and not just you know all, just blind discovery, challenging questions, questions that actually make the guests think. So I would say, just putting in that time, making that time and realizing that time is Gonna help you better, sir.

Speaker 3:

Wow, wow, definitely. You both are role models. You're definitely inspiration Because, despite the challenges, you know this is a bigger purpose than you and you are committed, regardless of the challenges. And and that's just exciting in that, what is your vision for 2024? I mean, I know that we didn't know what we were gonna be here 2022, but what's coming up? Plug me in.

Speaker 2:

What's coming up for Marion Swingler, inch 20 24. I Will be doing a chapter in a book. I will be putting out my book. I am in the process of Releasing ebooks. Actually, if you DM me, I'd be happy to share the first one with you. You can follow me on Instagram and then DM me is just my name, marion Swingler, and I will be happy to share with you this free ebook, my first ebook. So it's official. I am now writing, I am looking to hosting Book releases, so I already am on. That's already on calendar.

Speaker 2:

My confident you Podcast channel on YouTube has turned into the confident you Network. Why I have two podcasts running right now and I'm looking at a third one. I just want you to know anything you want to do is Possible. You need to get into these classes and surround yourself with people who will help you, rip the cap off your dome and See the possibilities are endless. With these ladies, I have been able to do that. The class that we started in it it literally we were there to learn how to coach. What Darius Daniels did and Shamika Daniels did was have us practice on each other, and we all started in a lot of different groups. We had different groups we were meeting with and then it kept the calls kept coming down to the three amigos.

Speaker 3:

Amiga's. I still have a friend Maryon is going to be bilingual Spanish.

Speaker 2:

It's, it's it's endless Possibilities. I have music in the work that have the books in the works. I have my ebooks coming out. I have my course creation being worked on right now as we Speak my course. This all coming from someone who signed up for a three-day class that just said the title of it rock the world with words, with words. Let me tell you how amazing that is. And the word was with God, and the word was God and, and everything that was created was created through that word. So If he can create, if we're in his image and he could create everything he created, including us, with his words, I'm ready. I'm ready to rock the world with words. It all goes back to that first Class. So that's what I have in the works coming up. I'm excited for the episode at the end of the year of 2024 when we looking at all the things that we're talking about, we're going to accomplish, looking into the year. Ruth Abigail, I passed the floor off to you Come on ladies come on.

Speaker 1:

I Obviously should have gone first, so man.

Speaker 3:

You're busy, woman. You're busy, you're busy.

Speaker 1:

So next year I I will, let's see. So I'm at 45 episodes now. By next year I should, I should have reached at least a hundred, 110. By this I mean by next year I'll cross a hundred. So I mean my ultimate. Somebody gave me this challenge when I first started. He was like go for 250, you don't don't stop, don't stop at all, but like make sure you hit 250. I said, okay, bet, that's what I'm gonna do now. I go hit that next year because my rhythm isn't. You know math. But Rhythm.

Speaker 2:

You talking about the rhythm you have today, right now, what that rhythm is gonna look like.

Speaker 1:

I don't, I don't, but what I, what I, what I got today, I, what I got today is next year. I'm crossing, yeah, I'm across that hundred hundred episode threshold, which will be fun. I will start a YouTube channel because Griselda is going to help me with that and I'll start putting it on video. Right now it's on audio and I'd like to, I'd like to do some video. I will have a studio in my house. I'm in the process of outfitting more of my rooms as a podcast studio. That will happen. I let's see what else Not necessarily related to the podcast, but also a cool addition Angel Street will be in the process of building a studio as well, and so some of the stuff out of that will be podcasting.

Speaker 1:

You know, I'm saying, and so awesome, really, kind of encouraging young people to do this and have an opportunity to coach them through. It will be cool. We'll do that. That will start that next year. Let's see I next year, by next year, I should be selling merch, I should be having some merchandise and, you know, getting ready for whatever the next step is. So, like for the podcast, I really I out at YouTube merchandise, crossing the hundred episodes, having a studio in my house. That's what I'm doing.

Speaker 2:

So wait, you made it sound like you had nothing going on. I decided that is huge.

Speaker 3:

Building a studio for the organization and for my house.

Speaker 2:

I got merch coming.

Speaker 1:

I got, I got, I got, we go do it, it's gonna happen.

Speaker 2:

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to meet the most modest, humble member of the team.

Speaker 3:

So for my audience, that was something that I want to highlight from from this trio, is that we all have our podcasts and it has a. They came alive, or Ruth of the gate came alive and at the end of 2023, 22. But, mary on, she started with a call to action, going live that same week. Ruth of the gate started with audio and now she's expanding to YouTube channel.

Speaker 3:

I was the one who was like, no, let me edit my, my my content and make it pretty, you know, and maybe I'll get going, but what I want my audience to get is that there is not one method to get there. We are here and we're making it happen, and we are have arrived at different paces and different ways, and so I think that's so powerful and so important for us to continue to remember that we all have our own journey to walk and our own discovery to do and our own next step. It may not be the same one as either one of us, but it has to be your own next step and that's powerful. And I have a question for you all Were you expected to be successful having your own podcasts?

Speaker 1:

Um, I, I don't know that I've defined what success is yet. I think for me, for me right now, success is doing it and being consistent. And did I have that expectation? Yeah, I had it for myself. I had it for myself, which is the only reason I'm still doing it, because I expect to do it. Did other people? I don't know. No, I know that I cared. You know, like I'm not sure I cared, and so, and I'm not still not sure I care, right? I don't think I care if other people thought I would be successful. I just knew it was something I needed to do and the expectation came from the inside. Like I expect me to be great at this, I'm just going to go for it, and if other people think I am, that's just not relevant. Right, that's not relevant. So I, yeah, I think the expectation was from me. Yeah, and I'll say this I think God has an expectation of me to do my best and that is what keeps me moving forward.

Speaker 2:

The expectation for me I will pick up where she left off was God, and I can say that, just as she was saying about success, I think it looks different for everyone. It's what you, what your definition is. So even when asking that question, you would have to ask what is your definition of success in being a podcaster for me? And I feel that I got caught. I get confirmation from God all the time. As I said, my episodes would end up being on topic for whatever season or holiday. It is just by happenstance. I didn't purposely or intentionally seek to have it that way and then it was that way. It has been unfolding that way. So that's my confirmation from God, because I always look for that.

Speaker 2:

I, like Abigail, not really looking for a whole bunch of people's confirmation or adoration or, you know, saying, oh, you're successful. I, the one person besides my children and my mom, my sister is a tough cookie to crack. She is not easily swayed and I've always had, out of everyone, this huge personality and either it's on or it's off. Either I'm quiet as a mouse or I'm all the way turned up. The only time there's a middle ground, if I'm working for you, I know how to just walk that middle ground and do what you need me to do and just, you know, be enough in the space to get done what needs to be done. But my regular self is very live and vivacious and I've always thought that, um no, there were times in my life where I thought that it was very uncomfortable to others and I really rubbed people the wrong way, that at times I came off ghetto. So when my bougie sister looked at me and said, shelly, mama names Michelle, that's my nickname, shelly, just keep being you. You doing a great job, keep being you. Sometimes I would just be like, oh my goodness, I was too loud, oh my goodness, I'm too animate. But that's me I'm loud, yes, animated. I'm very, very. Everything is is, is a dialogue for me to express through every part of my body, including my voice, including getting loud, getting hot, getting low, being silent at times. It's all a part of who I am.

Speaker 2:

So in this process I became comfortable and that's a success for me because you're talking to someone had it not been for David Shann's first challenge in the Grow, your Bids challenge, had it not been for him going and don't come back to class tomorrow without having gone live on a social, on social media. I said Wait, what? Again a challenge to me. Who are you talking to you? I know I can do anything and I was like you don't do social media, girl, you don't even have an account. Yeah, by the end of that night, not only did I have an account, by the next morning I have my first post. Let me tell you when.

Speaker 2:

This was December the 22nd. I don't have to put a year behind it, because we're talking about the last December 22nd, the last December. So by December my first time ever on social media, december the 22nd. By March the 1st my first episode, my first podcast. So, for anyone who feels that the success has to come from external nope, you got to believe in you and that's why I confident you podcast. For anyone who thinks, oh, my goodness, it's got to be this, it's got to be that, it's got to be that you need to make a shorter list of your God, I want to have these, got to have this short list and just go, and then I'll put all the want tos in there as I go.

Speaker 3:

Awesome Mary on. Thank you, ruth Abigay, let's marry and rock that up with confident her. What would you tell us to unlearn? I would say unlearn.

Speaker 1:

Unlearn your own limitations and you know. Unlearn the lies that say, because you belong, because your story sounds like other people's stories, that your outcome has to be their outcome. That's not true and so, but it takes. It takes a mindset shift to do that and only you can make that decision. So I would say unlearn that your story has to be what. What other people's who have similar stories and that's what you end up being? They don't. And you can make that decision. And you can make it now just by shifting one thing. It does not. You know.

Speaker 1:

The next one of the things I read a book Maybe you'll have read it, the year of yes, by Shonda Rhimes, who wrote scandal and Grey's Anatomy and how to get away with murder Bridgerton. She's that that series is a part of her, her production studio. Anyway, she's one of my favorite writers and she wrote a book called the year of yes several years ago and after reading that book she basically took a whole year and anything she would normally have said no to say she said yes to and so she basically like kind of took us through that journey and so that particular year for me I did that. I was like man, I'm gonna do that same thing. If I would normally say yes, I'm gonna say no. If I would normally say no, I'm gonna say yes and I'm, and so that that was. That was huge, and I think that began the journey of shifting my mindset to say that I don't have to do, I don't have to do things the way other people do them, like I don't have to do that, like I can do it differently. And if I do it differently, I'll have a different outcome.

Speaker 1:

So, just little things. If you would normally say yes to something, maybe say no. If you would normally pick up the phone for this person and you don't really want to, don't, if you would. If you would normally shy away from raising your hand and when you're in a group of people to say something, do it anyway. You know, do the opposite of what you are, what you are feeling like you want to do, and watch it. Shift your mind, because it'll show you a different you. And so I think, unlearning you have to unlearn. The first thing that I learned is yourself, and that will help you to move forward and progress in the way that, in the way that you know deep down, you're able to do all that stuff that's in your mind and you want it to come to pass. You have to stop doing things you've been doing. You have to do the opposite. You have to unlearn it. You got to unlearn it, so that that's. That's what I would say.

Speaker 3:

So, ladies, let's say that we're back before you launch your podcast. What would you tell somebody wanting to start something to do? What? The third there, one thing, that one thing other than learning and being confident? What action would you tell them to take?

Speaker 2:

start going live on your social media. Pick a topic to talk about so that you know what you're doing. Don't people are just some people just turn the camera on. Okay, have something to say. Have something to say. Please, don't just turn your camera on. Have something to say, even if it's just one word and you're just going to unpack everything about that topic or something about that topic, turn your first.

Speaker 2:

If you don't feel comfortable going live first, turn your camera on on your phone. You can look at yourself, you can listen to yourself, make those tweaks, small adjustments. We're not changing who you are, so you can be somebody else. Just so you can know oh wait, wait, let me sit up straight. Wait, this color, I don't like this. I want the brighter colors. I realized I like bright, solid colors. I like this, I like that. There are certain things that I like that are small, they're minor. They just make that difference for me, not for what anybody else is seeing or comparison to what somebody else is doing for yourself.

Speaker 2:

Just start doing it right now. If it's just you and your camera, turn it on, see how you sound, listen to yourself and see if you make sense. If you didn't get your point across. Then think about okay, I want to say this, this and this, saying in small bite size, so you're not doing a whole script. Make it 30 seconds, 30 seconds, like. I mean. This is power pack information. Sorry, I know you're like well, who's she hitting? What is that? So power pack information. Make it in bite start, bite size. You'll get to the bigger start, but you can start that right now, today.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I would add to that that find somebody, tell them you're going to do it. Make sure the person will ask you if you did it. You need to find someone, tell them what you're going to do and make sure that person will ask you if you did it, that's if you will likely not do it. If you're the only one that knows you're going to do it, you'll give yourself way too many excuses. Tell somebody that you trust that you're going to do it, and then they need to ask you if you did it. So that's what I would say in echo it's small, small steps, like small steps, and just do the first thing. Do the first thing that you can think of. Don't spend time trying to come up with a step by step plan. You don't know what it is. It's okay.

Speaker 1:

If the first thing you could think is to go purchase something, go purchase it. If the first thing you could think of is to get a domain name, go do that. If the first thing you could think of is to write down the sentence or the do, just do it. Just like the first thing I'm going to do is go get a notebook and pencil, go buy it. Just go do it. Don't trip over steps and plans and best practices and all that. Don't worry about all that. Just do the first thing that comes to your mind and just do it.

Speaker 2:

Wait, I got one more and then don't regret. Don't look back and say I should have did this, then I should have cut a wood up. Let go of all three of them. I broke up with them three fools a long time ago. No, should have, no, could have, no, would have. What am I doing right now? Because now is the time? Always think, now is the time, now is the. Do you know that Jesus was here for 33 years before he started doing the mission of saving mankind? He was here for 30. So it's an appointed time. Remember there's an appointed time. Don't should have cut a wood of yourself and get on any hamster wheels. Just do it and do it ugly. Go ahead and accept You're going to look like trash because I need to figure out what to do. You're not going to figure it out. If you just don't do it and guess what? You may surprise yourself and go. That don't look half bad.

Speaker 3:

And for my audience, what they have shared. I am a witness of them doing what they are telling us to do, and so it is consistency, it is congruence and it is commitment. There's my three C's for the night With that, ladies, it has been a pleasure, it has been an honor, it has been fun, just like many other conversations, but so insightful into. Well, okay, let's do the dance. We did it. We did it Because we've been talking about having an episode together for over six months and we are now having it, and it is my pressure pleasure to share this journey with you all.

Speaker 3:

With you all, ruth, abigail and Mary on, but with my audience, because this is not one time and done. This is an ongoing process and I invite you, each one of my listeners, do your next step, take that next step, and we came to you as the raw and genuine stories of our own journey as podcasters, and if we did not know a year ago that we would be here today, you can do it too. So make your 2024 it for you all and ladies, thank you. I will see you in your podcast, because there is something to learn, to be confident, you, and something to unlearn always.

Speaker 1:

That's good. You better pull this thing together. You gotta say it.

Speaker 3:

And to my audience, until next time. More to come with, unexpectedly, success for the show.

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Dr. Griselda Martinez

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